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prettylittle-kitty:

Right.. Well, there are two kinds of people.

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Anyway! Speaking of me, since I’m determined to take the position of Head Cheerio, I think it would only make sense if I got the Unholy Trinity on Team Kitty as well. You don’t need to do much except write me a letter about why I, Kitty Wilde, deserve to be Coach Sue’s head bitch, so I can accidentally drop it in her office. She’ll read the letter and probably think “Wow, if the Unholy Trinity thinks Kitty is head bitch material, she must be!” and then I will be rightfully given the spot I deserve so much. How about it?

I love writing letters. My favorite letter is the one I wrote to the president asking him for equal rights for both cats and humans alike. I’m all for equality. But yeah sure, I can totally write you a letter! I just not sure it will really help because the last time I wrote something for Coach Sue, she crumpled it up and threw it at me.

phuckherman:

Then that’s probably why nothing happened.

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I’ve eaten a lot worse before. My doctor told me I have a really strong immune system.

[private]

straightuplizard:

Yeah, like just the two of us, having a place together. I’m so sick of having to share our time with everyone else. And I know for a fact that if you could you’d be walking around shirtless half the time, so there is that. ANd the gigolo was Rachel’s, B. 

Just me and you.

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That is true. I just don’t see the point in wearing shirts around you when I know how you get when you see my boobs.

phuckherman:

If you drink bleach, you’ll die. Less you were licking the floor, she wasn’t trying to kill you.

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I mean… I did it once but it was only because Lord Tubbington dared me to. And it wasn’t even like a real lick. It was a little lick, like a cat lick. Like just the tip.

prettylittle-kitty:

Watching peculiar shows makes it easier for me to be thankful for everything God’s given me. Like a fast metabolism and decent parents.

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That’s funny cause a fast metabolism and decent parents makes it easier for me to be thankful for peculiar shows.

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[private]

straightuplizard:

Hehe. ;)

So yeah… I was looking at smaller apartments and I was thinking whether or not you’d like to get one with me. I mean, Kurt is sprinkling his fairy dust in completely other direction and I don’t want our first chance at living together to be with someone else. 

You mean like, you and me living in our own place together? Like no Rachel and her smelly face creams, no Kurt and his male gigolos, no more random broadway sing alongs that I don’t know the words to? Just me and you?

Anonymous asked:
One Eyed Willy is going to put bleach on your toothbrush for telling a tale about him.

sameleonevans:

itsbrittpierce:

It’s not a tale if it’s true. Besides, he can’t leave his bowl or he’ll die.

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It’s not nice sending anons, Samuel Evans.

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sameleonevans:

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I’m not saying he isn’t a person! I’m just saying that it would have been nice to have known that he is a goldfish from the beginning! You told the story like I was gonna get my eye poked out, and be just like One-Eyed Willy. But that isn’t the case. I may have fish lips, but I’m not gold. I also don’t have fins. I’m sorry that Willy lost his eye in a tragic battle of goldfish vs goldfish. I also think he deserves a girlfriend, and a bigger bowl. A bowl with scenery for him to see out of his one eye.

That’s not totally true. You wore gold during Rocky Horror. Like really gold. And not having fins doesn’t mean anything cause Finn doesn’t have fins either. I am glad you care about Willy’s future though, so I’ll take that as an apology on Willy’s behalf.

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Anonymous asked:
One Eyed Willy is going to put bleach on your toothbrush for telling a tale about him.

It’s not a tale if it’s true. Besides, he can’t leave his bowl or he’ll die.

sameleonevans:

What the HELL?! Are you telling me that Willy was a goldfish this whole time?! I thought he was a real guy! I can’t believe this. 

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Why?? It doesn’t make a difference. Goldfish are people too you know! He lost an eye, Sam. An actual eye.